


Roi Mat

by Sarah_Elmira_Royster_Poe



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Amorality, Character Study, Monologue, Obsession, POV First Person, Poetic, Searching, random thoughts, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 06:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah_Elmira_Royster_Poe/pseuds/Sarah_Elmira_Royster_Poe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Come to kill you, my lover."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roi Mat

**Author's Note:**

> Now beta'd by the wonderful IridescentIndividual. Comments would give me joy.

Everything is grey. Boring. Dull. Sane. Normal. Predictable. Everything but him.

 

Everyone is ugly. Distorted. Twisted. Impure. Tainted. Fake. Everyone but him.

 

Everything will be turned to ash. Everyone will become dirt and mould.

 

I will turn everything to ash. Just because I like to see them set alight and burn.

 

I will turn everyone to dirt and mould. Just because I like their fading eyes when they die, the little tremors when they plead and beg. Their little cries.

 

But, I will keep him alive and safe. Safe from the others.  Protected. Only mine to harm. Only mine to destroy. I will take him apart, piece by piece. I will explore every inch of his glorious mind, of his glorious heart. Of his glorious sentiment. I will not own him. I will be him.

 

I will carve into his skin; the red liquid will be paint to the white canvas of his skin. And then, when the blood dries, the beautiful scars will remain forever, engraved to claim him. Even when I die, if I die, I will remain on his skin. I will touch him with the fingers of a ghost in a smothering embrace.

 

I will blind him, take out his eyes with my own hands. His eyes will not see the horrors of this world. His eyes will not see the beauties of this world. I will be his window to the world. I will dictate what he feels. I will command and he will revere.

 

“Come.” I will tell him, “Come and lay yourself on my hands. Come and rest your head on my lap.” And then he will stiffen and defy me, but I will break him and make him pliant. I will bend him and shape him. Kill him and resurrect him. Until he learns to worship only me as God. As the Creator.

 

He will forget how to talk of things unnatural and dull. He will only whisper silent prayers and poems. The prayers and poems that I will whisper to his ear. The songs that I will sing to him. The melodies that will dull his ache and make him forget his name. These melodies, I will sing. I will lull him to dreamless sleep, holding him, touching him.

 

Dreamless, for I will be his dream and his reality. I will be his fulfilled wish and his cursed nightmare, and he will not learn to love, nor to hate me. He will learn to feel me rushing through his blood, he will learn to hear my voice when he is afraid, he will learn to recognise my shadow in the shadows.

 

I will be his sanctuary and his Catharsis. I will be his tormentor and the priest that will forgive all of his sins. He will kiss my feet, kneeling and hiding his face from my brightness. “Come”, I will say, “Come to kill you, my lover.”

 

And he will abide, he will crawl to his knees and place the cold steel knife in my hands. He will present his pale white neck to me and he will plead for salvation. And salvation I will give.

 

And salvation I will.

 

And salvation I.

 

And salvation.

 

And.

 

I want to take him apart.

 

I want to spill the blood of his every vein, only to be able to hold his cold, soft, stiff body in my bloodied hands.  I want to bathe and clean his wounds with my tears. I want to swipe his feet with my hair, and I… I want him to surrender, to expose his every fear and every doubt,  his every joyful moment and share his every laugh and cry. I want to take away his memories and burn them. Erase them. I will become his fear and doubt. I will become his every joy and laugh.

 

Because I never was. And I will never be. I never was, and I will never be. I am a parasite. I feed on his sentiments and his memories. He is the Sun and I am the moon. I orbit around him, sucking light.

 

But no! I am the Sun! I am the king! I do not worship him. I am him I…I…

 

“Mother, please, don’t! Father, please, don’t. Father! Father! _Father_!”

 

Damn you! Fuck you! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill all of you! You… You, that commit blasphemy with your impure minds!

 

“But, father, please, don’t! But mother, please. And, oh, God, help me!”

 

But I do not need God! I am God! I rule in a shadowy world. I dispel the light, he dispels the shadows. He dispels me. But where did he learn to do that? Where? How? You’re all stupid. You’re dull. _You_ are the parasites. You are the… You are the…

 

Oh, my lover, please look at my eyes. Do you see my tears?

 

No! Don’t look at my hateful eyes. Avert your gaze. Don’t… Why are you crying, my love? Why are you crying?

 

Do you like the playing music? I love playing the piano, would you be so kind to spare me a piece?

 

No. You wouldn’t. I will play, though. I have a piano with broken keys and untuned strings. But I can make it _sing_! I can make it play the melodies of seraphim in heaven. How? Just close your eyes, remember and imagine. Can you hear it? Can you see me playing? Can you?

 

Oh, my dear boy! Oh, my love. I am too weak to die, but I am too weak to live. So, I am ghost. I am a legend. I became a spider!

 

But no! I _am_ a spider! I have weaved my own web until my threads encircled you and interlaced with your limbs, so now I play you like puppet marionettes!

 

I am the Queen and you are the pawns.

 

I am the string puller and you are the…

 

Until you came and whispered to my ear “Roi Mat”. And what a beautiful voice you had! What a beautiful voice. 


End file.
